Trip Around the Sun
My 30th birthday and 30 lessons to change your life.
Hello friends! I am one of those people who loves birthdays. I love celebrating others’ birthdays as much as I love celebrating my own. In true Gemini fashion, a birthday celebration for me extends into a whole season and I like to sprinkle the month with different ways to celebrate.
In part, I attribute my love of celebration to having grown up in Mexico, and also to having two wonderful parents, and especially a mother who was incredibly skilled at throwing parties and baking cakes. Since my birthday fell at the end of the school year and my little sister Vanessa’s at the start, our birthdays were always celebrated with a joint “fieston” (big fiesta).
I never minded sharing my birthday, in fact, I loved having big parties, so the more people were involved the merrier. I even remember one year where my cousin Carolina joined and all three of us celebrated together with one massive cake and three candles.
Giddy and bright eyed, I wouldn’t be able to sleep the night before my birthday and always woke up before anyone else, often ruining any surprise my parents might had planned. Waking up this morning however, felt unexpectedly different. Laying in bed, unable to get up, I experienced emotions I've never felt before. Turning 30 sat on my low-belly like a purring fat cat in a way no other birthday has weighed on me before.
Maybe it's because the ticking clock of fertility is ringing louder as more of my friends are having kids, trying to have kids, or freezing their eggs. Or perhaps it's the increasing number of engagements on social media. My twenties felt like free-falling in one of those fair rollercoaster games you see on TikTok, where people black out and then come back to consciousness (you know the one). Now, entering my thirties, I feel hyperaware of every move, knowing this decade will impact my life and possibly those around me in significant ways.
The woman I am today, is definitely not the same person I was when I entered my twenties. Along the way life has been messy, ugly, beautiful and everything in between. This is a list of lessons and tools I’ve learned this last decade that completely transformed me, and I believe, have prepared me for whatever thirties might throw my way.
But before you dim the lights, light the candles and begin to sign— a quick thank you for subscribing to this newsletter! To be able to share a part of me in this capacity is a beautiful gift.
Okay, now grab your favorite brev and let’s get this party started!
As humans, we don’t perceive life in a linear way. Instead, we experience it like chapters in a book, each chapter introducing new characters, places, experiences, and challenges. These elements contribute to our personal growth and help us understand who we are and where we want to go. Today, I’m starting a new chapter—my 30th birthday.
The chapter of my twenties was, to say the least, eventful. I graduated from college, got married, then divorced, and supported my best friend through her battle with breast cancer. I climbed the corporate ladder, got laid off, freelanced, and rebuilt my career. I published a cookbook, became a U.S. citizen, visited my home country of Mexico for the first time in 16 years, traveled to seven different countries, survived a pandemic (barely), fell into credit card debt, and then decided enough was enough and paid it all off to achieve financial freedom.
In my early twenties, I often said, “everything happens for a reason,” especially after my divorce. However, I’ve since moved away from such platitudes that attempt to find gratitude in the storm life can throw at us. Do I wish my best friend had never been diagnosed with breast cancer? Every single day. Or that the pandemic had never taken place? Yup. But will I hold on to the hard-earned lessons from my twenties? Abso-freaking-lutely.
Like tattoos on my skin, the lessons of my twenties are permanent reminders of how far I’ve come to be who I am today. Every single experience heightened my awareness that life is both precious and uncertain. In a world of finite time and limitless opportunities, it’s up to us to make each moment meaningful.
I don’t yet know what this next chapter will bring. However, I’m confident in one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far: the interconnectedness of it all. Our microbes impact our motivation, our careers affect our hormones, our relationships influence our sense of self-worth, and that self-worth determines our ability to set boundaries and advocate for better work-life balance and even financial health.
Each lesson from my twenties equipped me with new skills and tools to navigate life. I’ve learned that to make the most of every moment, we need to process our past and actively shape the future we desire.
Since I can’t invite everyone to share a slice of cake for my 30th, I’ve decided to write down thirty lessons I’ve learned so far and share them with you. I hope that whatever chapter or new beginning you find yourself in, these insights can help you craft the life you desire.
If you have a lesson for my 30s you’d like to share, please drop a comment below or email me directly! Receiving your wisdom would be the greatest gift.
Without further ado:
Embrace solitude. There is nothing sweeter than becoming your best companion.
Keep a calendar and prioritize what’s important to you.
Figure out your ‘why’.
Journal daily. It’s been my biggest healing tool, I’ve had one for over 10 years.
Eat whole foods. What you eat changes your mood and brain more than you’re aware of.
Go to therapy. Even if ‘everything is fine.’
Go on a daily walk.
Prioritize sleep. If you do anything from this list, make it this one. At least 8-9 hours of sleep per night.
Say no often. Your energy is precious, protect it.
Never, ever disappoint yourself. Whenever you’re faced with a decision, someone will end up disappointed. Either your friend is disappointed that you didn’t go out, or you’re disappointed that you have to miss your morning workout because you stayed out. The choice is yours, choose wisely.
Build a routine. Either in the morning or evening depending on your circadian archetype.
Don’t lie or gossip. The truth will always come out, gossip is not only hurtful, but by judging others you’re also limiting yourself.
Meditate daily.
Save for an emergency fund.
Invest in your retirement. Tori Dunlap is my favorite Financial Expert to learn from on this subject.
Breathe first, then respond.
Say ‘I love you’ loud and often, even if the other person is not ready to say it back.
Speak your truth, but learn to face the truth. We are always only ‘partially correct’.
Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with the people next to you.
When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it’s a gift for ourselves.
Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have.
People reveal who they are, be willing to believe them.
Buy yourself flowers. Place them somewhere you will see them daily to remind your nervous system that it’s okay to slow down and ‘smell the flowers’
Be loud about your needs, and if they aren’t met, be prepared to walk away.
You don’t need to overextend or explain yourself around the people who truly see you and care for you. Learn to hold on to those relationships tightly.
Look up at the sky, trees, stars, and buildings.
Personal integrity is essential.
Spend time with mother nature.
When you’re thinking of someone, send them a quick text. You’re not expecting a response, but outreaching is what matters.
Get comfortable with death. It’s not about wanting to die, but understanding that someday, all of us will. Today is your life. It may be all you’ve got. Go dance, kiss deeply, eat the damn cake, feel the sun on your skin.
CAKE
If you’re wondering what kind of cake I am eating it’s this beautiful Summer Berry Mixed Berry and Lemon cake from local baker Maddy’s Bakeshop.
GIFT
Every year I like to ‘gift’ myself a challenge, this year is climbing Mt.Shuksan with one of my besties in July!
READING
If you haven’t read Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros, you’re going to want to pick up a copy as soon as possible. I don’t normally read fiction, but after a few friends hammered onto me how good this book was I decided to give it a go. I’m now obsessed and will be reading the series this entire summer.